Does this book get ANYTHING right? A Love & Respect Deep Dive (Part 2)
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Part two of a three-part docuseries deep dive into the best-selling evangelical marriage book, Love & Respect.
Part 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3EEAkjwcXA&t=4059s
Part 3: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7K2Sqin3AY&t=3221s
Was Love & Respect REALLY a new idea, or was it said by a woman first? Does the research actually prove that men need love and women need respect?
And does the Bible actually say what the author says it does?
Let's talk about it!
Copyright Disclaimer: - Under section 107 of the copyright Act 1976, allowance is mad for FAIR USE for purpose such a as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statues that might otherwise be infringing. Non- Profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of FAIR USE. All DVD clips and quotes from the book are used for criticism and teaching, and therefore fall under fair use.
BONUS CONTENT
Gain bonus content, full videos of the interviews and MORE if you become a patron! / baremarriage
LINKS:
Op-ed on the history of ordination of women and the SBC: https://sojo.net/articles/opinion/primer-sbcs-complicated…
Shaunti Feldhahn's original survey: https://shaunti.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/For-Women-…
Double-barrelled questions: https://methods.sagepub.com/ency/edvol/encyclopedia-of-su…
Study on shoulder-to-shoulder communication: https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5523ffe4e4b012b2c4…
The Authoritarians book (free to read): https://theauthoritarians.org/
Breakdown of Eggerichs misunderstanding marital rape and saying you can't tell if a woman is aroused: https://baremarriage.com/2022/01/emerson-eggerichs-love-a…
Podcast episode about the mystery of a woman being "turned on": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zrZ4M7vcYo&list=PPSV…
Support Good Fruit Faith: https://baremarriage.com/give-through-bosko/
Our paper, Sanctified Sexism: https://academic.oup.com/socrel/article-abstract/86/4/519…
OUR BOOKS:
The Marriage You Want: https://baremarriage.com/the-marriage-you-want/
The Great Sex Rescue: https://baremarriage.com/great-sex-rescue/
She Deserves Better: https://baremarriage.com/she-deserves-better/
EXPERT INTERVIEWEES INFORMATION:
Dr. Chuck DeGroat: https://www.chuckdegroat.net/
Dr. Shauna Springer: https://www.docshaunaspringer.com/
Read Shauna's original PsychologyToday article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/the-joint-adventu…
Dr. Andrew Bauman: https://andrewjbauman.com/
Dr. Beth Felkner Jones: https://bethfelkerjones.com/books
Beth's Substack: https://bethfelkerjones.substack.com/
Jay Stringer: https://jay-stringer.com/books/
Jay's book Desire: https://amzn.to/4r6CS3m
*TIMESTAMPS*
0:00 - Intro
2:01 - The Conservative Resurgence
8:27 - Reduce, Reuse, Recycle
14:09 - My Kingdom for a Good Stat
23:05 - O, Citations, Where Art Thou?
31:51 - Biblical Mad-libs
47:34 - The Billion Angels
58:03 - Anti-intellectual faith
1:07:49 - ... Did he just say that?
Music Attribution:
“In the Dark” performed by BlockBeatz/stock.adobe.com
“Romantic Smooth Rock (O Mundo Gira)” performed by Yummy Tunes/stock.adobe.com
"Silly Snickerdoodle" Joel Cummins, YouTube Audio Library
“Gentle Relaxed Smooth Jazz (Soul Power)” performed by Tasty Tunes/stock.adobe.com
Part 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3EEAkjwcXA&t=4059s
Part 3: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7K2Sqin3AY&t=3221s
Was Love & Respect REALLY a new idea, or was it said by a woman first? Does the research actually prove that men need love and women need respect?
And does the Bible actually say what the author says it does?
Let's talk about it!
Copyright Disclaimer: - Under section 107 of the copyright Act 1976, allowance is mad for FAIR USE for purpose such a as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statues that might otherwise be infringing. Non- Profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of FAIR USE. All DVD clips and quotes from the book are used for criticism and teaching, and therefore fall under fair use.
BONUS CONTENT
Gain bonus content, full videos of the interviews and MORE if you become a patron! / baremarriage
LINKS:
Op-ed on the history of ordination of women and the SBC: https://sojo.net/articles/opinion/primer-sbcs-complicated…
Shaunti Feldhahn's original survey: https://shaunti.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/For-Women-…
Double-barrelled questions: https://methods.sagepub.com/ency/edvol/encyclopedia-of-su…
Study on shoulder-to-shoulder communication: https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5523ffe4e4b012b2c4…
The Authoritarians book (free to read): https://theauthoritarians.org/
Breakdown of Eggerichs misunderstanding marital rape and saying you can't tell if a woman is aroused: https://baremarriage.com/2022/01/emerson-eggerichs-love-a…
Podcast episode about the mystery of a woman being "turned on": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zrZ4M7vcYo&list=PPSV…
Support Good Fruit Faith: https://baremarriage.com/give-through-bosko/
Our paper, Sanctified Sexism: https://academic.oup.com/socrel/article-abstract/86/4/519…
OUR BOOKS:
The Marriage You Want: https://baremarriage.com/the-marriage-you-want/
The Great Sex Rescue: https://baremarriage.com/great-sex-rescue/
She Deserves Better: https://baremarriage.com/she-deserves-better/
EXPERT INTERVIEWEES INFORMATION:
Dr. Chuck DeGroat: https://www.chuckdegroat.net/
Dr. Shauna Springer: https://www.docshaunaspringer.com/
Read Shauna's original PsychologyToday article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/the-joint-adventu…
Dr. Andrew Bauman: https://andrewjbauman.com/
Dr. Beth Felkner Jones: https://bethfelkerjones.com/books
Beth's Substack: https://bethfelkerjones.substack.com/
Jay Stringer: https://jay-stringer.com/books/
Jay's book Desire: https://amzn.to/4r6CS3m
*TIMESTAMPS*
0:00 - Intro
2:01 - The Conservative Resurgence
8:27 - Reduce, Reuse, Recycle
14:09 - My Kingdom for a Good Stat
23:05 - O, Citations, Where Art Thou?
31:51 - Biblical Mad-libs
47:34 - The Billion Angels
58:03 - Anti-intellectual faith
1:07:49 - ... Did he just say that?
Music Attribution:
“In the Dark” performed by BlockBeatz/stock.adobe.com
“Romantic Smooth Rock (O Mundo Gira)” performed by Yummy Tunes/stock.adobe.com
"Silly Snickerdoodle" Joel Cummins, YouTube Audio Library
“Gentle Relaxed Smooth Jazz (Soul Power)” performed by Tasty Tunes/stock.adobe.com
@flynnifyable
If husbands can only love their wives to the extent that the wives deny who they are, who exactly is he loving?
81 likes
@tristazerbe8119
I LOVE how he says the woman should be the mature one, but yet the man is supposed to be the head. Isn’t that fantastic? 😆🙄
86 likes
@JanaeSarah
I have listened to Part 1 and found myself appalled at the words in this book, considering that I read them years ago trying to make my marriage work. I remember balking at these suggestions and feeling uncomfortable reading it. Now (divorced, after realizing my husband was emotionally and financially abusive) I am realizing that was probably the Holy Spirit telling me something wasn't right in this book and that I should have thrown it away right then. Thank you for doing this deep dive. It is so helpful to see things clearly and to be able to tell others if they subscribe to this way of believing. thank you!
44 likes
@anitamorgan5021
I freaking LOVE Sheila's spit-take moment 😂😂
55 likes
@mistyrobbins8193
I knew the book was bad, but I didn't realize it was so bad in so many different ways. That graph showing the breakdown of advice about forgiveness was SO telling!
27 likes
@micahbush5397
Watching Emerson Eggerichs say "Cha-Ching!" makes you wonder how anybody ever took him seriously.
16 likes
@darylgrunau
Whoever slips in the Tv clips.. needs a pay raise. Absolutely perfect and my kind of humor alongside an important topic
10 likes
@HaylieSings
This is so good and well done. Thank you for your work on this!!
21 likes
@meredithsutton1485
Love your dedication to good scholarship and good reaction memes. This video had me torn between being horrified at what we were teaching married couples in the 00s and laughing at loud at the ridiculousness of it all. Great episode!
18 likes
@kinalamb3667
My, my, my - this is SO good! I can't wait for Part 3!!! I hope Emerson watches this ands realizes he needs to change his mind and issue an apology. Or at LEAST stop his ministry.
18 likes
@ardavidso
I am so proud that I told my Bible Class that Love and Respect is an awful marriage book years before I found your work. I didn't know what it was exactly. I knew that this book made me feel like a defective woman and tanked my opinion of my husband as well. And yet it still sustained a poisoned narrative for me about how I could make my marriage happy with sex and a positive attitude and made it harder for me to listen to smart people who saw that I was being drowned by a dead weight man-child. Took years longer to shake off this cursed book.
15 likes
@hiyabeans
I love love love this deep dive...as a ypung mom and wife and Christian...focus on family content made me sooo anxious, it took me awhile to see that! All the formulas that doesn't work
10 likes
@anjihc8797
Thank you for bringing in the scholars! I cannot believe that the research on this book was accepted. What a load of crap. Thank you for going deep into this. I've always had a sick feeling about this book. Reading the title, i knew within myself, i need love and respect equally. I expect respect in every area of my life. Marriage doesnt get a pass. I actually want to find a copy of this and burn it.
8 likes
@Cherryblossomreads
The last segment of the video absolutely KILLED me 🤣💀
8 likes
@barbaraheck5638
The work of Dr Springer is so valuable here.
12 likes
@itsmarieg5816
Wow thank you for this series ❤ this is so needed right now
3 likes
@helenr4300
Love the highlighting of what was novel to the first hearers -
From Jesus' comments on divorce limiting it to serious betrayal of trust - compared to the mosaic law that a man could just dismiss a wife for anything that dissatisfied them .
To telling husbands that they have responsibilities alongside the existing expectations of women to their husband.
As for the power of a woman to convert her husband the message is about living out faith rather than constantly talking faith. It has nothing to say about a christian/christian marriage.
16 likes
@Alphacentauri819
So much of this “Christian” weaponized marriage advise is an order to self abandonment to the wife. To not have needs, goals, any wishes/opinions, that might conflict with the husband and just be quiet, is self abuse. That this is what is covertly taught (and usually not seen) is so flagrantly offensive.
Additionally, the eggshell walking and catering to the man, is what exists in codependent and narcissistic relationships. It is protecting the man-child from seeing his own reflection, flaws, harms, etc, in the mirror, reflecting, and trying to evolve. This is enabling behavior, where 2 people in the relationship are focused on 1 person in the relationship and both are also ignoring the other person, mostly. Really unhealthy.
That someone wouldn’t even consider to consult experts, in the field of neuroscience and psychology, attachment theory, to write a book on relationships, shows the absolute ignorance.
Sure, the Bible can be used, in context…but as shown in this video, that wasn’t even done. It was weaponized, used with a massive self referential bias, used with confirmation bias.
The lack of humility is a core issue to the book that he wrote.
15 likes
@PumpkinPatch8734
To be honest, I've never read this book and I don't plan to. I'm just here for the tea 😂
9 likes
@katiemoe3687
This is so thorough and well done. Thank you for putting this out there!!!
3 likes